To: Dean of Academic
Affairs
From: Curriculum
Committee
Subject: New Course
Proposal.
As one response to the college’s
interest in attracting and retaining students, especially in these challenging
times for higher education, this committee is proposing the adoption of the
following advanced writing course. Up
until now, it has been thought that students needed only the traditional skills
of expository writing: attention to form and mechanics, logical thinking, and
clear expression of carefully reasoned ideas.
In this modern age, however, when actions precede thought, news has been
replaced by entertainment, entertainment is synonymous with offensiveness, and
the purpose of writing is to obscure rather than elucidate, students are
looking for more practical courses that will give them real-world skills.
ENG 253
-- Suppository Writing.
This is a
course in organic writing. Students will
learn specialized skills for the writing of academic dissertations, government
documents, political speeches, grant applications, philosophy, popular novels,
unauthorized biographies, personal memoirs, op-ed commentary,
letters-to-the-editor, contemporary music, and other coprophagous genre. During the semester, students will be
expected to discharge several fecund works of excremental fiction and
nonfiction.
Through
practical application of the writing process, students will learn how to digest
information and concepts so that they can easily extrude a fertile and organic
end product. They will understand the value of purgation in writing. They will learn how to be secretive in their
writing so they can externalize what had previously been internalized. Through exposure to the writings of
effluential authors, students will learn to appreciate works of cathartic
literature.
Special attention will be given to the proper use of the
colon.
This is, naturally, an alimentary
writing course, will be taught on a pass or fail basis.
Seating will likely be limited and students are
encouraged to bring their own stools.
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