Friday, May 12, 2017

Trump Fan Fiction -- #1


Lord of the Tweets:

Book One – the Hippits.  At the end of the reign of Obama the Calm and the beginning of the Second Age of the Twitterverse, a plucky band of independent and progressive Hippits from the Vermontshire are recruited by a wizard called Sandgalf the Cranky to go on a great quest to save Muddle Earth from the dark forces of oligarchy that are sweeping across the countryside.  Although they are first dismissed because of their size and the way they dress, they ultimately prove to be a force that needs reckoning with and the great battle is joined.

Book Two – The Sisterhood of the Pantsuits.  In order to continue their quest, the Hippits must first join forces with the Democra-Elves, who are led by Queen Hillary the Inevitable.  And though a great many of the Democra-Elves disobey the queen and join the Hippits’ cause, the Hippits are eventually defeated at the Great Battle of the Caucuses.  None-the-less, the Hippits are energized by the strength of their movement and vow to fight on.  Meanwhile, Lord Trumpaun has defeated an army of dwarves and recruited legions of Trolls to wander about the Twitterverse and Forest of Blather (or FB), looking for opportunities to fling dung at the elves, the Hippits and their allies.

Book Three – The Two Monoliths.  A great war is waged between Queen Hillary’s Sisterhood and Lord Trumpaun, who has created a great fortress of gold topped by two tiny hands holding up a pair of pursed lips hovering beneath a great swirling orange hairpiece.  Having enslaved the RepublicOrcs Under the leadership of Mitch the Turtle and Ryan the Shape-Shifter; and joined forces with the white wizard Penceron the Handsome, whose greatest magic is in convincing the people of Indianashire that he is not as evil as the Lord to whom he has sworn allegiance: Lord Trumpaun befouls the political landscape of Muddle Earth and, despite her overwhelming number of warriors, defeats Queen Hillary at the Battle of the Electoral College.  And the dark age of the Twitter Lord has begun.

Book Four – Return of the Hippits (Scheduled for release sometime between now and 2020).  The Hippits begin planning a new coalition to oppose Lord Trumpaun by attacking his RepublicOrcs one at a time when they venture out of the safety of the Orc Congress.  But can they convince the Democr-Elves to join with them, or will the elves seek to build a strengthened unholy alliance with the Ghost Army of the SuperPacs?  Can Muddle Earth yet be saved?




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